I win, you live.

I lose, die, and you still live.

Forget street laws, and all you whiney drivers who can't tolerate having to brake every once in a while.

I've found that I'm still alive to this day, while all around me are ghost bikes and friends missing teeth. I believe that I am alive because I follow a different street law, and I'm sticking with it.

First, I must repeat a classic argument against following "to-the-letter" traffic law: when an automobile is in an accident, more often than not we're talking about bent metal. When a bicyclist is in an accident, we're talking about "bent" bones.



My traffic law follows the same philosophy as ski resorts, where hundreds of people are randomly careening downhill without traffic safety devices and very limited disturbance. The rule is defiantly simple: "people ahead of you have the right of way. It is your responsibility to avoid them.".

Notes to self:
1. Get in front of a car, don't try to wobble along between parked cars and the moving traffic. I'll get doored or right-hooked.
2. Get in front at intersections, and when possible, clear the intersection so that I've got free roam on the road ahead. Ahhhh, the peace.
3. Be conspicuous; bright colors, flashing lights, track stands. Rather be a spectacle than a speckle.
4. Get in a verbal fight. Shout at cars. Maybe don't go through with the vivid slow-motion imagination of my super-self jumping off my bike at full speed while swinging my lock to a devastating thud on their windshield, dragging that lazy honker through their window and... just keep riding. I'm better than them.
5. Bike right! Bike right!
6. Wave to other cyclists, but not too quickly; remember that we're all out there with our lives on the line. Not the best setting for pleasantries.