Exposing Wisconsin

Check out my inspiration: http://www.worldnakedbikeride.org/ and http://www.thedailypage.com/daily/article.php?article=29667

Ever hopped on the saddle in your birthday suit? I typically discourage the practice, yet an international movement, World Naked Bike Ride, melds the body and bicycle together. Naked cyclists gathered in Chicago to protest oil, support alternative energies, and work out unsightly tan lines. The protest spread to Wisconsin, where last weekends planned event turned ugly. Local police handed out disorderly conducts to peaceful bikers baring it all for what they believe.

I’m on the fence here, can’t find a side to bash. I love the idea of the bicycle rally, but what’s the need for nudity, and does it help the cause? I believe riding your bicycle daily and abstaining from cars remains the best way to protest oil, but I don’t ride to work or school naked. Nudity draws instant attention, maybe a strategy or just a fun excuse to drop the trousers and ditch the bra, which I fully support. However, do protesters muddy the already oily waters in their efforts to appear free spirited?

Wonder if we gathered in thongs to save the whales, or wore pasties to stop uranium mining, would these measures be heard louder in the flesh? I applaud the naked riders for their creative approach to civil disobedience, but perhaps their energy would be better spent calling their congressman or sending hate mail to Tony Hayward. The World Naked Bike Ride appeared in Boulder the past six years and according to their website plans to repeat. I hope Boulder police keep their minds open and their eyes averted, although nothings more beautiful than a naked body and a bicycle.

Come on...all the cool kids are doing it.

So recently, I had a few friends up from Denver. They had all come from an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, and thus were absolutely appalled when I suggested that we go on one of Boulder's famous (or infamous) Thursday night cruiser rides.

"Isn't everybody who goes on those things just totally wasted?" they asked me. The answer is no. Although there is an official bar-hopping ride, the more popular ride (which now departs from Wahoo's Fish Taco on 28th and Pearl) is different.

This ride, originally leaving from Scott Carpenter Park-also known as the "Rocket Ship Park" on account of a large red rocket-shaped structure in the playground- was organized by a bunch of hardcore old guys, who then changed the starting location on account of there being too many drunken college kids.

This is one of the larger and better-organized rides in Boulder. I am a frequent participant, and what I saw last week was proof that it's not cool anymore to get trashed and ruin the fun for everyone else.

During the middle of the ride, some moron flew by me out of nowhere and nearly took out a few riders. He hit his brakes and attempted a sharp turn, showboating a bit, and went down hard. He happened to be riding next to an older guy with one of the coolest bikes I've ever laid eyes on. It was black and low, with huge wheels and flames painted along the frame, with massive chopper bars. That guy was riding in style, and clearly knew it. He used his super-rad bike authority to promptly shout obscenities at the drunken fool, yelling about how stupid he was making himself look...not to mention how he had endangered literally hundreds of other riders, who cheered on the old guy. We left the only clearly-intoxicated loser in our dust as we all rode off into the sunset together.

That was when I officially realized that it's not part of our bike culture in Boulder to ride with disrespect, or behave like, well, a wasted college kid. Go, Boulder.

The Ghost Memorial

Have you ever been riding along somewhere, probably on a busier road, and seen a strange looking bicycle chained that had been spray-painted white off to the side? Then you have seen a Ghost Bike.

What is the Ghost Bike?

The Ghost Bike is an international movement dedicated to cyclists who have been hit and killed by motor vehicles. The bike is often the actual bike that belonged to the victim, and it is chained in the spot where the accident occurred. Adorned with flowers and cards from friends of the cyclist, the Ghost Bike serves as a reminder for motorists to slow down so somebody doesn't get killed.

Often a Ghost Bike will anonymously appear in the location of the accident after a short while if none is chained by friends or family of the victim. Ghost bikes get their origins from St. Louis, where mechanics would chain Ghost Bikes for cyclists hit and killed by motor vehicles.

Keep an eye out for the GHOST BIKES.

Can't We Just All Get Along?

Recently I visited a bike shop in Boulder...not going to name any names. Any way, the mechanics in back were divided into two teams: hipster fixie riders vs. elitist racer guys. It was pretty ridiculous. Every time someone from the opposite side walked into the store, the secret harassment began. If someone walked in asking if they sold fixies, it pretty much went down in back. There were catcalls, and yells of "get a job, hippie!" anonymously echoing from the shop. I've noticed that this is the case pretty much all over Boulder. I don't understand it... why can't we all just get along?

Many activities in Boulder seem to be this way, however. It's the same story with the trail runners and the racers, and the bouldering scene vs. the traditional climbers. But with biking? Does it really matter as long as you're getting out there and having fun on a ride?

Black Hawk Down

Say it ain't so, two steps forward and fifty steps back. That’s the latest report out of Black Hawk, Colorado, a city gung-ho on remaining behind the times. Black Hawk has become the first city in Colorado to ban the usage of bicycles. Not only did Black Hawk jump atop “my list,” they stand to feel the wrath of every Colorado bicyclist. Until the bans lifted, I insist that all bicyclist refrain from commerce inside the city of Black Hawk. No gambling, dining, shopping, or even gold mining shall take place if you identify with your two wheels.

I’m not opposed to keeping the roads safe and reducing accidents, but as stated by City Manager Mike Copp, no accidents prompted the ban, making Copp’s decision baffling. It’s comparable to closing the beaches because sharks live in the ocean. Yes, sharks exist, and cars and buses drive on the roads, so why ban bicycles just because of potential risk. If the city showed evidence for the decision I wouldn’t be opposed (well maybe), but the data simply doesn’t exist.

Black Hawk, you obviously neglect consideration for the bicycle as a legitimate vehicle. Colorado law states that bicycles have as much right to the road as a car; in fact we’re considered vehicles when we hop the curb and hit the pavement. If their concerns focus on safety, they might as well ban cars too. Last time I checked, two tons of steel causes more problems than twenty pound of aluminum.

I hope Black Hawk gets it in gear and reconsiders the ban. Bicyclist shouldn’t accept $68 dollar tickets for doing what they love. I’ve said it before; we’re not second class vehicles. We deserve our space and place on the roadways. Black Hawk made a terrible enemy today, and unless they reconsider their antics, they stand to lose business.

I’m a radical, but believe we must work together to make progress. I encourage readers to e-mail Mike Copp at MCopp@CityofBlackHawk.org and express your feelings. I informed him today that my primary form of transportation remains a bicycle, and until the bans lifted I won’t be entering Black Hawk. Remember, be respectful and composed, but let him know why he’s ruining the city of Black Hawk, one less bicycle at a time.

Join the Club at: http://dismountblackhawk.com/

Hit It with Speed

Learn more at http://www.bma-mtb.org/

Walker, Apex, Blue dot... How you spoil us Colorado. Mountain biking season officially here, and like a good bing cherry, trails are ripe for the picking. Long, hot, summer days, on old, dusty, single-tracks illuminate our love for the sport. Fire roads kick our ass, but downhill sections remind us why we woke up today. The summer season chills me, almost makes me want to stop writing, and bomb Rattlesnake Gulch. So, if you haven’t yet dropped into gear, allow me to express why everyone should “do one” this season.

I ride religiously; make it a point to attack the trails once a day, but this isn’t about me, it’s about you. Let me first debunk the excuse that you can’t ride unless you have full suspension. Wrong! Dual suspension performs well in rocky conditions, but the Front Range session almost deserves a hard tail. The hard tail (a bike without rear suspension) allows you to climb easier and forces you to pick your lines, thus making you a better rider. If all else fails, drop the seat and hit it with speed, you may be surprised, but going through difficult sections becomes much easier with some momentum.

I also hear the excuse that it’s too hot to ride in the summer. If you’re a pasty character and fear dehydration perhaps an evening ride may better suit you. Nothing better than peaking over Bettasso Loop while the sun drapes her final rays upon the grassy meadow. Water's our friend, take a backpack with at least two liters and remember to ration throughout the ride.

Perhaps I could sit here all day emphasizing how awesome we have it, but unless you clip in, pedal on, and ride out you’ll never know. Go with a friend who you trust, or a person about the same skill level, that way you won’t get left in the dust. Also, if you don’t feel comfortable on a section, get off the bike and hit it another day. I recommend beginners start at Marshall Mesa, Bettasso Loop, or Coal Creek trail. You have to start somewhere; these trails get you bumping, hopefully sparking an interest to a life long love affair. And just remember, no one’s out to win the cup, just have fun and enjoy Colorado!

By Far One of the Worst Possession Crimes

Bike theft is one of the worst possession crimes. A friend just came out of an hour and a half meeting to find that his bike, which he built himself, was gone in broad daylight on the campus. What a terrible feeling, all the sudden you lose your mode of transportation at the same time that you lost your dear friend and steed, your bike. My bike and I have been through some rough times, I've been hit and thrown off, stuck in horrible weather, traveled down sketchy terrain and she always prevails with me. I wish we could make bike thieves understand they are stealing far more than a mere instrument. Obviously those that steal bikes are of such a low moral dignity that only a severe punishment could really deter the act. We need much harsher consequences. We also need better locks, cables are a joke. On campus they slice right through them in broad daylight without anyone suspecting foul activity. Personally I go for the master lock handcuffs, they insure my bike up to $3,000 and are indestructible. A little awkward, a little heavy, but I dare a thief try to get into them.

Da Burgh (Reflections on a city rolling in the right direction)

Check out http://bike-pgh.org/

Consider a city where bicycles rarely roam, a desolate metropolis reluctant to change. I’m cautious to critique my hometown, yet after investigating the bicycle culture of Pittsburgh, I’m happy to report considerable improvements. The demographic of Allegheny County remains “old and in the way,” but I notice a youth movement seriously vested in the bicycle as a viable form of transportation. However, roads remain narrow, drivers intentionally intimidate two-wheelers, and the geography presents challenges.

So why should we care about Pittsburgh’s bicycle culture, does it really affect us here? My visit home opened my eyes to how good we (Boulderites) have it, and how our bicycle culture may help influence Pittsburgh, and vise versa.

Pittsburgh cruising creates a sense of tension. Jumping on the road and riding to the store demands commitment. You risk angry “yinzers” and people who simply don’t understand how to drive around bicycles. Fortunately, trails improve certain areas of town, but the majority of the city needs work.

Mayor Luke Ravenstahl announced Pittsburgh as a bicycle friendly city. I believe him, but the infrastructure begs to differ. Pittsburgh’s urban engineers never anticipated bicyclists. The roads often support only cars. The trails focus on recreation not transportation, and the tunnels… well let’s not even fathom riding through those death tubes.

Progress towards improvement appears persistent. I talked with several members of the BikePgh and felt a genuine desire for change (Keep up the Good work West Liberty Schwinn). Programs like Bicycle Fridays (an effort to eliminate car commuting one day a week), and painted bicycle lanes show promise. Few communities even consider bicycle lanes, but the trend grows each time I visit Pittsburgh.

I’m only beginning to digest my thoughts on Pittsburgh, yet I feel a strong need for the bicycle as primary source of transportation everywhere. We must take baby steps, things take time. I know I often preach a radical rapture, but I’m serious, the bicycles universally awesome!

The most encouraging part of my visit was my sister asking me to fix her a bicycle for the summer. She consciously chose to put down the keys and use her legs. My sister, and many others, offer hope for bicycling in Pittsburgh, I’m glad to see the Steel City evolving. The tides changing, we’re beginning to emerge from the dark ages of fossil fuels; perhaps the days of oily, dead pelicans appear behind us.

Stick it to 'em with...BIKE PRANKS!

Did your friend borrow your bike and chip the frame again? Unforgivable. Here's a couple of ways to get him back.

Take his bike. Take off the saddle. Pour four or five ball bearings down the seat tube. They'll be wondering what the rattling noise is for weeks, and it will probably drive them insane. Throwing a couple in the handlebars works just as well. Why not do both? (I know it's old, but it's a classic for a reason.)

Did they really, really mess up your paint job? Put a SAUSAGE in their seat tube. I'm not even kidding. I know it's disgusting. Just do it. In about a week or two, they won't be able to even get near their ride. (You can also try some fish...mmm!)

Pump up their tubes with water. Just use an old floor pump, and suck up a bunch of water then pump it right into their tubes. The weird weight will totally throw them off, and they might not notice for long enough for you to get a kick out of watching them wobble.

Subtle yet effective: every day, raise their seat post a tiny little bit. We're talking about a millimeter or two each day. After a while they'll probably think they're going crazy. Or getting shorter. And it'll be funny. (Not as funny as sausage, but still pretty effective.)

But let's keep in mind...these pranks are only funny because no one will be seriously injured, or injured at all, for that matter. Get 'em back, but keep it (mostly) safe.